From Tonight On
by StayBeautifullyFree
Summary: It happened every year. The memory of the hurt and pain comes back, full force. But this year was different. Gino gives her advice and now she's conflicted about, well everything. Her solution is to push away the past, but the past, is always there...


_So this is my first Code Geass fanfic... Might be OOC, sorry._

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><p>Kallen sat on her bed staring at the photos of the old days. You know, when Lelouch was alive. She sighed. Even though she knew those days would never come back, she drempt of them. Over and over again. She would relive her last fight with Suzaku Kururugi and then the death of Lelouch. Kallen still felt guilty every time she looked at Zero, in person or on t.v. It was all her fault that everyone thought Suzaku was dead. She tecnhecally killed him, according to everyone.<p>

It was true that life has been a lot better since his death, but the people that really knew Lelouch weren't. In their alone time, when Suzaku took off his mask or when Nunnally wasn't making peace or even when CC stopped to look at the sky, they silently grieved for Lelouch's death. But Kallen always had that alone time. She wasn't aloud back into the Black Nights until she finished High School, so she had nothing to when she got home. In her boredom, she talked to Lelouch's picture.

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><p>One day after school, Kallen was in a horrible mood. She was just so upset today. Nobody really knew why she was like this every year. She always was mad or downright depressed and had been like this for three years. Since Lelouch died. As she was walking home alone again, Gino, the ex-knight of the round, ran up to her.<p>

"Hey Kallen!"

"What Gino?"

"Why are you always so, you know, down on this day every year?"

Kallen whirled around and shoved Gino onto the ground. Her azure eyes narrowed venomously at him.

"You really don't know? Are you that _stupid_?"

Gino didn't respond as he got back up, looking at her while she exploded on him.

"Today is the day that Su-Zero killed Lelouch. The day Nunnally screamed for her brother to open his eyes and the day I was to be executed for betraying Lelouch. Today the world got better yes, but they lost the person who changed it! A little girl lost her _only brother!_"

"That is all true but Lelouch was going to ruin the world by being Emperor. Today the world was born anew. Lelouch was a monster, a demon. And now he's dead Kallen. Maybe you should look toward the future, instead of being wrapped up with something that you can't change. Don't forget that he _used _you Kallen".

Gino walked away before Kallen could react. She stood there, in the middle of the street for a long time before running home.

As she got home, she threw her bedroom door open and slammed it shut before her mother could ask or, for that matter, say anything. Kallen flung her belongings on the ground and ripped the picture of Lelouch off her wall.

"You did use me didn't you Lelouch? You sick bastard! Everything is_ YOUR_ fault! Maybe Gino was right..."

Kallen put the photo on her pocket and jumped out of her window, tears silently forming.

She walked to Lelouch's grave and dropped to her knees and began to dig a hole. When the hole was deep enough, Kallen threw her only photo of Lelouch into it and began covering up until there was no proof a hole had been here.

She turned around and walked away, not looking back.

Tonight was the end of her pain.

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><p><em>"I put your picture away.<em>  
><em>Sat down and cried today.<em>

_Everyone knows, but they won't tell._  
><em>But their half-hearted smiles tell me somethin', just ain't right.<em>  
><em>I've been waiting on you for long time.<em>  
><em>Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine.<em>  
><em>I ain't heard from from you in three damn nights.<em>

_I put your picture away._  
><em>I wonder where you've been.<em>.."

_Thanks this is a new idea of mine. Okay I know this is a Suzaku&Kallen fic, but he's just not in it yet._  
><em>I was wondering, should I keep going with this idea or just leave it..?<br>_


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